The Lost Pages

June 16, 2008

MON 16 JUN 2008

Ben Franklin’s Musical Module - iPod By Benjamin Franklin

As you may know, I like to keep my foot in the world of inventing. Whilst perusing my blogroll I noticed that some fellow named Steve Jobs kept popping up. “Who is this beturtlenecked man?” I asked myself.  Little did I know he and his company Apple have been taking credit for a device I invented in the eighteenth century!  Oh sure, they may have slicked up the presentation a bit, but there’s no doubting that the iPod is based directly on something I liked to call Ben Franklin’s Musical Module.

 

Ben Franklin’s Musical Module (or mMod) wasn’t as flashy or as sleek as the iPod, but it certainly got the job done.  The concept was simple: a songbird encased in a metal box with a bit of tubing connecting the box to the ears.  That way a person could enjoy the sounds of a songbird whilst not imposing on those around him on the street.  Sound familiar at all, Steve?

 

At any rate, I thought it was rather clever, but initial experiments were a failure.  In soundproofing the box I had neglected to give the bird any way to breathe.  I went through several prototypes before I discovered that error.

 

My next idea was for an accordion that pumped the air (again through tubing) directly into the ear for the user’s enjoyment.  This solved many of the limitations of the first design.  For one, the number of songs it could play grew from one or two, to nearly limitless.  The only limitations in that regard, was the memory/creativity of the user, as well as their capacity for withstanding polka (I must admit to being rather limited in this regard myself).

 

Problems arose when the first three test subjects went completely deaf in less than 10 minutes.  The remaining test subjects eventually went mad and had to be locked away in the asylum where they gibbered incoherently and hummed snatches of “The Beer Barrel Polka” for hours on end.

 

So no, I’m not getting credit for the iPod.  A friend of mine tried to cheer me up by pointing out that I’m on the hundred dollar bill, which is nothing to sneeze at.  Of course he’s right, but on the other hand it takes three of me to buy one iPod Touch.

You win this round, Steve Jobs!